If anyone is offended by this let me know and I will delete it.
Anger management
For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, said "Hello". I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?" Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the "wrong" number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an a$$hole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word "a$$hole" next to it, and on a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an a$$hole!" It always cheered me up. When caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic "a$$hole" calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?" He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an a$$hole!" One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had been patiently waiting for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window so, I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first a$$hole, (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW a$$hole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is." "Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes. I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out front. "What's your name?" I asked "My name is Don Hansen," he said. "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm home every evening after five." "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" "Yes?" "Don, you're an a$$hole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two a$$holes to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called A$$hole #1 "Hello." "You're an a$$hole!" (But I didn't hang up). "Are you still there?" he asked. "Yeah," I said. "Stop calling me, " he screamed. "Make me," I said. "Who are you?" he asked. "My name is Don Hansen." "Yeah? Where do you live?" "A$$hole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black beemer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, a$$hole." Then I called A$$hole #2 "Hello?" he said. "Hello, a$$hole." I said. He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are." "You'll what?" I asked. "I'll kick youre a$$" he exclaimed. I answered, "Well, a$$hole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now." Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th Street. There I saw two a$$holes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.
1960 Pontiac Strato Chief Safari 1960 Laurentian Safari 1960 Laurentian 4door(scrapped) 2001 Grand Am Traded on a '96 Suburban 2WD 2002 Hyundai Accent(SOLD) 1968 Grand Parisienne Scrapped and SOLD
Funny stuff and reminds me of when I was a kid and a jerk neighbor hassled some of us kids for cutting across his corner lot lawn.. We called him on the phone and told him he'd won a pizza and what did he want on it then called the pizza place and ordered it to his house.. Then we hid in the hedges across the street and watched the guy trying to convince the pizza driver it was a free one and making him wait while he called the pizza place himself.. Sorry to whatever Oshawa pizza driver was delivering pizzas in a red Corvair about the summer of 1972?.
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I like real cars best...especially the REAL real ones! ----------------------------------------------------------------
