That's what my wife is. As you may know we are going through a very difficult time. My father in law has only hours to live. While most of us have gone through losing a parent, not many of us (including myself) have made the sacrifices my wife has made to ensure her parents remaining years are as pleasant and dignified as possible. About 5 years ago my wife was an Operations Analyst for a large insurance company. The pay and benefits were excellent however the stress was massive. After a serious illness that almost claimed her life (we had met about 6 months prior) she decided that perhaps it was time to quit her job and make her health a priority. She had dreamed of writing a book (and has had some of her poetry published) so with my urging she took the plunge and resigned. We pooled our resources together and moved out of the city to a cheaper location. Houses here in Ingersoll at the time were 20-30% cheaper than London. After extensive searching we found a century old home that we both fell in love with. Nothing fancy mind you, however it had a good vibe and lots of yard and room  (and a garage!). Little did we know how important this house would be for what was about to take place. About 2 months into moving here Connie's dad was diagnosed with serious anurisms. Two behind his knee, one on a major artery in his abdomen. At that time her parents lived on their own in Kitchener. Werner (her dad) took care of Lottie (her mom) who has had Rheumatoid Arthritis for 40 years. This is the worse Arthritis to get as it destroys joints and causes serious deformation. At that point Lottie used a walker to get around.

 Werner had surgury to repair the anurism in his abdomen. After the surgury it was clear that he would not be able to look after Lottie. The thought of a nursing home was out of the question. After a lot of discussion we decided to move them in with us. We had heard that most towns are very accomodating with putting up temporary granny flats. Well, that isn't really the case. There is so much red tape involved that most people give up. Not Connie. We had a good sized attached garage (with a Studebaker in it at the time). Since we had a large yard that backed onto a park road, we thought "Why not convert the garage into living space and build another garage behind the house?". As it turned out there was far less red tape doing this instead of a separate building. It wasn't long before Connies artistic talents went to work designing the ideal living space for her parents. Dispite doubts by many people she pressed on. With the help of a couple of retired carpenters, we had a very comfortable "apartment" for her parents. It was separate enough to give them (and us) privacy, yet close enough to ensure they were safe and well taken care of.

 Connies parents settled in and all was well for the first 4 months. They both enjoyed the view from their deck and Werner particularily enjoyed hand feeding several of the chipmunks that would come looking for treats. He had his own flower beds and bird feeders and would often sit on the deck and say "This is just like being at the cottage". They used to frequent a cottage up north when Connie was  a child. 

 It was a cold night in February about 3 years ago. Connie and I went for groceries and when we came home I noticed my side door unlocked and the welcome mat moved to one side. While we were gone Werner had experienced excruciating pain in his right leg-enough to cause him to scream in agony. Lottie called 911 and managed to walk all the way to the side door with her walker to unlock it for the ambulance attendants. What had happened was a blood clot had formed behind Werner's right knee at the anurism, stopping the flow of blood to his foot. Werner had previously been told that his kidneys were weak. While in Emergency a special dye had to be injected into his arteries in order to detect the clot location. This dye was too much for his kidneys and he ended up with complete renal failure. Unfortunately Werner lost his right leg below the knee as a result of the lackof blood flow. He was extremely sick and since he was in ICU in London, Connie would drive over every day to be by his side. I worked here in town so I was able to run home to check on Lottie.

When Werner got home Connie had her hands full. Due to our healthcare cutbacks there often wasnt a nurse available to change Werners dressing on his stump. Connie wouldn't bat an eye and would change the dressing while I stood there ready to throw up.
Werner adapted to the artificial leg and was mobile in "record time". All seemed well for the next year or so. Then Lotties health took a turn for the worse. She could no longer sleep in her bed due to the pain and needed help getting up from a chair. She eventually had to rely on a wheel chair. She could no longer dress herself or go to the washroom without help. It was (and is) truly a 24 hour job for Connie with the phone often ringing in the middle of the night.

Fast forward to June of this year. Werner took a fall and ended up in Emergency. He had a minor bleed in his brain yet he seemed totally fine. The docs said the first 48 hours were crucal and he did fine. Again Connie would drive to London every day to ensure he was well taken care of. She only had a 2.5hr window as her mom would need help with the washroom. She often would go back at night since I was home. He seemed to improve every day until the following Saturday. Connie just got home from an uneventful visit when she got a call from the hospital. Something had happened and Werner was not breathing and was being shipped to ICU. Well, as it turned out Werner had advanced emphysema and had aspirated something into his lungs (likely food). Apparently with emphysema if a foreign object enters the lungs they tighten up (wheras we would cough it up). The docs said he would have died if this happend at home.
Another  week in the ICU. Connie was there every day for him. Further tests discovered blood clots in his lungs. Blood thinners (warfarin) was prescribed. This is a very dangerous med and blood levels must be monitored at all time. Werner was getting more and more depressed in the hospital. Connie rallied to have him brought home since the only reason he was still there was to measure the thickness of his blood. Connie took her dad to the local hospital every morning (except the days he had dialysis-she would drive him to the next town for that 3 times a week) to have his blood tested. The results would tell her how much medication to give to him.

He seemed fine until about 2 weeks ago. Connie was just about to go out to buy them KFC (one of their favorite foods) for lunch when she heard a large crash. Her dad had passed out in the washroom. Another trip to the hospital. Other than a large bruise on his arm he seemed fine. They suspected a drop in blood pressure which sometimes happens after dialysis as the cause for the blackout.

The next few days we saw a big change in Werner. He started to get confused and say things that didnt make sense. He also was unable to sleep. We became more and more agitated and it got to the point we were worried about his safety. We called an ambulance and had him taken to our local hospital. Over the next few days they did a number of tests. We asked for a Cat scan but it seemed to get put off for this reason or that. One test came back showing a serious blood infection, the source being the port he has to hook up for dialysis. He was going down hill fast. During this time he was being shipped to London for dialysis three times a week. He got to the point that he was barely able to speak. Finally he got the cat scan two days ago. Our fears were realized. He had a large bleed on his brain from the latest fall. Yesterday he was again sent to London for assessment. I met Connie at the hospital after work. Her brother came down (he lives 90mins north) to look after Lottie. We spoke to the neurology team and they explained how serious surgury would be for an otherwise healthy person. Werner was not an otherwise healthy person. Aside from being elderly, he was an amputee, has kidney failure, a blood infection, emphysema and was on blood thinners!

 Werner was getting more and more agitated. He would mutter "this is no life" in those moments of clarity. It was clear he was very uncomfortable. We had a comference call with Lottie and her brother and decided enough is enough. No more. It was then we decided he needed to spend his last few hours here at home. Connie has gone 24 hours without any sleep and very little food. She singlehandedly arranged to have him transported back to Ingersoll to the local hospital (he arrived at 5 this morning) and then arranged to have a hospital bed delivered here, got trained on administering pain releif meds via a vaporizor, and had him home at 5:30 tonight. Since there will be no more dialysis, he may have 3 days at the most however we feel he only has hours remaining. His bed is next to the patio doors. He can see his flowers and the birds at the feeders. His favorite cat Taz (who hasn't eaten much since he has been away) is lying on the bed with him. The whole family is here. There is a sense of peace in the air, the same feeling we felt when we first looked at this house.
The people at the local hospital have been fantastic. There are a lot of great people in this town. A pastor from a local church dropped by to pray with Connie and her mom today. Both Werner and Lottie had paid for funeral services in Kitchener. We called the funeral home located just around the corner from us and they said "Don't worry, spend time with your father and we'll handle the rest". It will be so much easier for Lottie to be able to have the service here in town. 

 I apologize for the long winded post however I really needed to express the sacrifices my wife makes for the loved ones in her life. She just left for the drugstore as she feels they aren't being quick enough in delivering the pain meds for Werner. This is typical of her.  I jokingly tell my friends that I might get a seat closer to the front in Heaven being with her. She truly is an Angel and I feel extremely privileged to be her husband.

  Todd