Like that case of antibiotic resistant Clap you picked up in Bangkok, Im back. Didja miss me? Well I missed you, my dear readers and only friends. I gave up on the last ad in the winter on account of work in progress on this Seductress of Speed
Here is the car- nay; the lifestyle youve been waiting for.
A Ford Falcon that rolled off the line in Oakville in 1963. Two doors? Hell no. Four. Thats right. Pop open that rear door at the local drive-in and watch her swoon.
This menace of the road packs an Awe Inspiring 144 cubic inch inline 6 with a Cherry Bomb glasspack crammed on the smoky end. Careful where you point this Hellcat. If your Awe happens to bereally lazy and takes even more inspiring, Ive got a 200 out of a 66 Mustang that could be shoehorned in, but I warn you now; if thats your bag, theres a good chance youll hafta register your gas pedal foot as a lethal weapon. Hell yeah.
Weve all heard tale of naer-do-wells dropping a V8 into these cars, but youre getting into the realm of WMDs and the last thing you need is UN sanctions on your driveway, or worse.
Of course, theres the central feature, the aforementioned ashtray. Why you ask? Well, if hours of watching the critically acclaimed series Mad Men has taught us anything, slamming through the silky smooth three on the tree transmission whilst hauling on your Lucky Strike and not spilling a drop of your Scotch on the rocks is not for the untested and faint of heart. When youre heel toeing rubber all over the Walmart parking lot, sometimes its better to leave that smoke in the ashtray rather than spill your drink, especially when the wifes hands are full with her own smoke and the baby. Ah yes, simpler times
She was in sad shape when I found her. Cracked exhaust manifold, leaky heater core, sans radio, crappy seat upholstery, dubious brakes, write off door panels and worst of all, non-functioning cigarette lighter. Well you can see, the door panels and parcel shelf have been replaced, but fear not, dear PETA friends, that isnt real leopard skin. I was told its baby seal skin just dyed to look that way.
Its got a fine sounding RetroSound Deluxe with the optional USB/ SD card reader. Now you can serenade that special someone with Barry Manilow for hours in the comfort of the spacious back seat that you clambered into by way of the surprisingly convenient back door. Ahem.
The front bench seat was pretty torn up. Red duct tape was working like a charm for a while, but eventually started to roll, becoming a very effective asshair removal system. (so I like to drive in a Speedo, whats it to you?) Its since been replaced with fine power adjustable leather buckets and center armrest/console out of an 01 Taurus. So now theyre pretty much gore proof, which is pretty handy if youre planning to use it as a getaway vehicle that might involve rolling shootouts with the Man. The seats are heated units, but not connected; as a colour blind hammer mechanic with a thing for whiskey, I decided that trial and error with wiring on side airbag loaded seats was not in my best interest. I stand by my decision. The original bench is still alive and kicking, just needs a recover as does the rear.
The Lighter? Brings forth a heavenly glow. As a matter of fact, all systems are a go now. Its been my daily driver. I can see no reason why it wouldnt pass another safety. Body is solid, new floors welded in front and back, glorious carpet to round it all out. Two period lookin lap belts in the front, and theres a four point bolted in to the rear passenger for my boy. A solid barn find, original paint, 63500 miles, even has the original dealer sticker on the stern. Its got the stock 13 rims up front, 14 on the back, but still have the 13 with good rubber for the rear as well. Comes with a shop manual, owners manual, spare, original jack and tire iron and two spare 13 tires- sans rims. We can talk about the 200.
Im asking $5000obo. The only trades Im interested in is $5000 or so in gold bullion, a 49-55 something (what Daddy wants to buy with the proceeds and I'm open to kicking money in for the right beastie) or a US Navy MkV Mod 1. (If youre about to google US Navy MkV Mod 1, I can pretty well guarantee you dont have one).
So there you have it. A dump truck load of Awesome compacted into a tidy package. With great power, comes great responsibility...If you think youre worthy to carry this six cylinder torch, drop me a line. If not, I think I saw a Lada in a field down the road from me. It might be more your speed, email me and Ill try to put you in touch for a modest finders fee.
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