A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness". Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything, but......your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it.
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis." They work great but they don't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch.
The man perks up. "So," the doctor says, "you must decide how many inches you want." But this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision.
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"
A man died and went to Heaven. > > > > As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks > > behind him. He asked, 'What are all those clocks?' > > > > St. Peter answered, "'These are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth > > has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move."' > > > > 'Oh', said the man. 'Whose clock is that?' > > > > 'That's Mother Teresa's', replied St. Peter.. 'The hands have never > > moved, indicating that she never told a lie.' > > > > 'Incredible', said the man. 'And whose clock is that one?' > > > > St. Peter responded, 'that's Abraham Lincoln's clock: the hands have > > moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire > > life.' > > > > 'Where's Brian Mulroney's clock?' Asked the man. > > > > St Peter replied, "Jesus has it in his office. He uses it as a ceiling > > fan". > > > > > > >
