> > Various Tools > > Explained > > > > > > > > > > DRILL PRESS: A tall > > upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar > > stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest > > and flings your beer across the room, denting the > > freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the > > corner where nothing could get to it. > > > > > > WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them > > somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also > > removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers > > in about the time it takes you to say, "Oh, > > sxxx!" > > > > > > SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too > > short. > > > > PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used to > > create blood-blisters. > > > > BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to > > convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs. > > > > > > HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the > > Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a > > crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to > > influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes. > > > > > > VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round > > off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also > > be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your > > hand. > > > > OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting > > various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy > > for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which > > you want to remove a bearing race. > > > > > > TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to > > launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity. > > > > HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to > > the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, > > trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper. > > > > > > BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by > > most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces > > that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the > > inside of the line instead of the outside edge. > > > > > > TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum > > tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect. > > > > PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum > > seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil > > cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, > > as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads. > > > > > > STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. > > Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into > > non-removable screws and butchering your palms. > > > > PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that > > clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a > > 50 cent part. > > > > > > HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short. > > > > HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer > > nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the > > most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to > > hit. > > > > > > UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents > > of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works > > particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, > > liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund > > checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for > > slicing work clothes, but only while in use. > > > > > > SON-OF-BITCH TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw > > across the garage while yelling "Son of a bitch" > > at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next > > tool that you will need. > > > >
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1960 Pontiac Strato Chief Safari 1960 Laurentian Safari 1960 Laurentian 4door(scrapped) 2001 Grand Am Traded on a '96 Suburban 2WD 2002 Hyundai Accent(SOLD) 1968 Grand Parisienne Scrapped and SOLD