My oldest daughter Brittany had her boy friend over for supper last night! Seems like a good kid lets just hope he stays in my good books!LOL This id her first real boy friend she has been going to his hocky games, met his parents, man I still see her playing with her dolls while I worked on my car, I dont think im going to like getting old!LOL
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.
However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of you date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: early.
Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden GateBridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to introduce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka-zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveways you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car-there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
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1967 Parisienne 2+2 1967 Grande Parisienne
1967 Laurentian 1967 Strato Chief
Remember, "The Government" only has money confiscated from us.
I'm in big trouble, I've got 3 little girls (5,3,2 years old) So I need to start writing a hand book for 10 years from now.....I'm going to start with those 10 rules!!
Daughters are 23 and 18. Most boys and families in our area know who I am from my long coaching career. One boy told me his mother told him, "Don't cross Big Ray" so far it's all worked out fine with both of them. As for getting old, it's only a state of mind.....looking forward to the day there are grandchildren to spoil.
I've always heard that the first time your daughter brings home a boyfriend you should be sitting on the couch cleaning your shotgun...
WHEN I WAS 16 I WENT TO MEET THE PARENTS OF MY NEW GIRLFRIEND. IT WAS SUMMER TIME AND I WAS PICKING HER UP TO TAKE TO DINNER. I MET HER MOTHER AND SISTER ON THE FRONT STEP. HER MOTHER CALLED HER DAD FROM THE BACK YARD TO COME MEET ME. HE CAME AROUND THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE WITH AN AXE IN HIS HAND. ALL HE SAID WAS "JUST REMEMBER, SHE IS MY DAUGHTER AND I LOVE HER." SWINGING THE AXE BACK AND FORTH THE WHOLE TIME. IT MADE AN IMPRESSION ON ME I WILL NEVER FORGET. 12 YEARS LATER I MARRIED HER. AT OUR RECEPTION HE PRESENTED ME WITH A LITTLE WOODEN AXE HE HAD CARVED. WE ALL HAD A GOOD CHUCKLE OVER THAT FIRST MEETING.
This girl I dated in high school dad was a retired military guy. When I went to pick her up for our first date he was sitting at the kitchen table cleaning his 9mm. He just nodded his head and said be home by 10. I wasnt a minute late!LOL
Brittany had her boy friend over again for her birthday, still appears to be a good kid but when we gave hime a ride home he had the guts to give her a kiss goodnight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope she dosnt rush things, I had a serious father daughter talk with her on the way home, very hard for me I think I was blushing worse then her!LOL
Brittany had her boy friend over again for her birthday, still appears to be a good kid but when we gave hime a ride home he had the guts to give her a kiss goodnight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope she dosnt rush things, I had a serious father daughter talk with her on the way home, very hard for me I think I was blushing worse then her!LOL
At least you had the guts to talk to her about it. It's important to caution but not discourage. I'm serious when I say that there is a groundswell in the schools that says "it's okay to dinker with your own kind." Apparently, it's becoming the new form of birth control. Sorry to drop this bomb, but it needed a mention.
Lala aka Mommy
-- Edited by JetFan on Monday 6th of December 2010 04:08:28 PM
When my youngest daughter started dating her firdt, and still current boyfriend it was mid-november. We were discusssing the merrits ef winter tires when he said he had brand new 4 seasons so he didn`t need any. I simply told him he WOULD have some installed by the end of the week. He asked me how I could possibly be so sure about that, to which my daughter answered - because his little girl will be in it. Smart kid, they`ve been together 4 years now.
I figure the guy that gave his daughter's new boyfriend a big kiss and whispered, "Anything you do to my daughter, I'm gonna do to you" had it about right.
Understand the concern. My girls are 10 & 14 - no issues but I tend to worry about them more than about my boy; probably not justified or logical but that the way Dads are it seems.
I have "a questionairre for guys hoping to date my daughter" that I showed my 16 & 17 yr old girls the other day, I'll have to sccan it and post it - once I figure that out. It's somewhat along the lines of the other stuff on here. I did ask one of the latest guys that showed up here - "are you going to be good - or do I need to get my gun out?" He didn't know that I don't have a gun and I'm not telling him! He understoond my message>
As for getting old, it's only a state of mind.....looking forward to the day there are grandchildren to spoil.
