Since my wife and I have moved into our new house, we have had all of our family members come to visit. At first it wasn't an issue but when the long lost relatives started coming and the others started making a habit of it, we were becoming quite annoyed at the constant visitations.
Well, I figured out a great way to solve all that...
When the rich ones visited, I always asked them for money. When the poor ones visited, I lend them money. Now no one comes to visit anymore.
Problem solved.
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"Things work out best for the people who make the best of the way things work out." - Art Linkletter
> THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE: > > 1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: > Marrying you has screwed up my life. > > 2. I see your face when I am dreaming. > That's why I always wake up screaming. > > 3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; > This describes everything you are not. > > 4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss, > But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed. > > 5. I thought that I could love no other > -- that is until I met your brother... > > 6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. > But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's > empty and so is your head. > > 7. I want to feel your sweet embrace; > But don't take that paper bag off your face. > > 8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes > Damn, I'm good at telling lies! > > 9. My love, you take my breath away. > What have you stepped in to smell this way? > > 10. My feelings for you no words can tell, > Except for maybe 'Go to hell.' > > 11. What inspired this amorous rhyme? > Two parts vodka, one part lime. > > WHO SAID POETRY IS BORING?
