Michael Ignatieff called Jack Layton over to his office one day and said, "Jack, I have a plan to win over Alberta!"
"Great, but how?" asked Jack. "We'll go to WalMart, get some Western clothes and boots like most Albertans wear then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador . When we look the part, we'll go to a nice old country bar in Calgary and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there."
So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Calgary . With the dog in tow they walked inside and stepped up to the bar. The Bartender took a step back and said, "Aren't you Michael Ignatieff and Jack Layton?"
"Yes we are," said Michael, "And what a lovely city you have here. We were passing through and Jack suggested we stop and take in some local color." They ordered a round of Canadian on the house and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.
A grizzled old farmer came in, walked up to the Labrador , lifted its tail and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, in came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, lifted its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar.
For the next hour, another dozen farmers and ranchers came in, lifted the dog's tail, and left looking puzzled.
Finally, Michael asked,why did all those old farmers and ranchers come in and look under the dog's tail? Is it some sort of custom?" "Lord no," said the bartender. "It's just that someone told them there was a Labrador in here with two *******s!"
-- Edited by sixtywagon on Sunday 1st of May 2011 12:19:21 AM
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1960 Pontiac Strato Chief Safari 1960 Laurentian Safari 1960 Laurentian 4door(scrapped) 2001 Grand Am Traded on a '96 Suburban 2WD 2002 Hyundai Accent(SOLD) 1968 Grand Parisienne Scrapped and SOLD
OLD BUTCH John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells. John's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. To John 's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Saint Lawrence County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well. Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention. Vote carefully on May2nd, the bells are not always audible.
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1960 Pontiac Strato Chief Safari 1960 Laurentian Safari 1960 Laurentian 4door(scrapped) 2001 Grand Am Traded on a '96 Suburban 2WD 2002 Hyundai Accent(SOLD) 1968 Grand Parisienne Scrapped and SOLD
