That reminds me of a story that happened to me, or to be more correct, a luckless lusty young lad who I never actually met.

It was about 20 years ago on the property I still live on. I was taking a stroll to what we call the upper field where I store my parts cars and where you have to drive through to get to the house.  (The hillbilly ambience tends to deter unwelcome door knockers as a side benefit.)

As I strolled up there I noticed, to my annoyance, a bunch of beer cans and food containers all over the place. It had been party time for someone, however it wasn't too scattered, so I figured  only one car had been parked there.

Heaving an exasperated sigh, I went back home for a garbage bag and started picking up other peoples garbage, something I have had to do many times. After picking the beer cans, the food scraps and (gingerly) a latex item or so, I was lastly picking bits of loose paper when I noticed one of them appeared to some kind of school correspondence.

A light came on in my head and I looked for a name and address and darned if I didn't find both, as well as a statement of some pretty poor grades, much to my evil delight!

I chuckled all the way to the house, told the wife what I was going to do and  started making calls to all the people in the town that had that last name. 

It's a small helpful town so the first people I called knew exactly whose kid that was and led me to the right family.

The next call was to the home number and I happened to get the mother on the phone. The call went sort of like this, as I recall:

Me:  "Hi my name is Ken etc, do you have a son named Scumley"(Not his real name)

Her:  "Yeeessss. (Cautiously)

Me:  "Do You know where he was last night?"

Her : "Yeah, he was studying with a friend."

Me: "I hate to say this but I don't think so."

Her:  "Why do you say that?"

Me: "Well, I was cleaning up some garbage this morning  on my property close to town  and I found his report card along with a bunch of beer cans and some other stuff that kind of looked like he was with a girl." (At this point I couldn't resist and added that, "By the way it doesn't  look like he's doing well in Chemistry at all.)

Her:   WHAT!   He's not supposed to be seeing her anymore!  (Pause) I'll fix him when he gets home! Thanks!

Me  "No Problem. Bye.

Even as the sneaky weasel I am, I almost felt bad for that kid for the moment when he casually sauntered into the kitchen later that day and asked his  mother what was for supper.

Never had a return visit though.