Sorry folks. I had to delete the "Joke of the day " thread. Our ad host sent me a violation report saying something in that thread violated the "terms of the agreement". The A.I never tells you exactly what the issue is so I had to delete the whole thread. Feel free to start a new one.
It reminds me of that BBC skit from years ago where "The computer says no".
So I am at Walmart scanning and bagging my almost $300 worth of groceries while the employee that wants $15 an hour "monitors" and then this happened.
Her - why are you double bagging all of your groceries?
Me - excuse me?
Her - you are wasting our bags!
Me - if you don't like the way I'm bagging the groceries, feel free to come on over here and bag them yourself.
Her - that's not my job!
Me - okay, then I will bag my groceries how I please if that's all right with you.
Her - why are you using two bags?!
Me - because the bags are weak and I don't want the handles to break or the bottoms to rip out.
Her - well that's because you are putting too much stuff in the bag. If you took half of that stuff out and put it in a different bag then you wouldn't need to double bag.
*10 seconds of me just staring at her.
Me - so you want me to split these items in half and put half of them in a different bag so that I don't have to double bag.
Her - exactly.
Me - so I would still be using two bags to hold the same number of items.
Her - no because you wouldn't be double bagging.
*me pressing two fingers to my left eye in an attempt to make it stop twitching.
Me - okay so here I have a jug of milk and a bottle of juice double bagged. If I take the milk out and remove the double bagging and just put the milk in the single bag and the juice in that single bag I'm still using two bags for these two items.
Her- no because you are not double bagging them so it's not the same number of bags.
*me looking around at about 10 other customers who at this point are enjoying the show.
Me- is this like that Common Core math stuff I keep hearing about?
Her- never mind you just don't get it.
And with that, she went back to her little Podium so she could continue texting or playing games on her phone or whatever it was she was doing before she decided to come over and critique my bagging skills.
LT1Caddy said
December 13th
Lefty... in this day and age. If you were her supervisor, you could expect to hear from Human resources in the morning!! LOL
LOL, that will have to be done by someone after I'm LONG gone!
bjburnout said
December 16th
I remember this song vividly from the 50s......
Transfusion by Nervous Norvus
Tooling down the highway doing 79
I'm a twin pipe papa and I'm feeling fine Hey man, dig, that was that a red stop sign
Transfusion, transfusion I'm just a solid mess of contusions Never, never, never gonna speed again Slip the blood to me, Bud
I jump in my rod about a quarter to nine I gotta make a date with that chick of mine I cross the centre line man you gotta make time
Transfusion, transfusion Oh man, I got the cotton picking convolutions Never, never, never gonna speed again Shoot the juice to me, Bruce
My foot's on the throttle and it's made of lead But I'm a fast ridding daddy with a real cool head I'ma gonna pass a truck on the hill ahead
Transfusion, transfusion My red corp-suckles are in mass confusion Never, never, never gonna speed again Pass the crimson to me, Jimson
I took a little drink and I'm feeling right I can fly right over everything, everything in sight There's a slow poking cat I'm gonna pass him on the right
Transfusion, transfusion I'm a real gone paleface and that's no illusion I'ma never, never, never gonna speed again Pass the claret to me, Barrett
A rolling down the mountain on a rainy day Oh, when you see me coming better start to pray I'ma cutting up the road and I'm the boss all the way
Transfusion, transfusion Oh doc, pardon me for this crazy intrusion I'm never, never, never gonna speed again Pump the fluid in me, Louie
I'm burning up the highway early this morn I'm a-passing everybody, oh, nothing but corn Man, outta my way, I don't drive with my horn
Transfusion, transfusion Oh, nurse I'm gonna make a new resolution I'm never, never, never gonna speed again Put a gallon in me, Alan
Oh, barnyard drivers are found in two classes Line crowding hogs and speeding jackasses So remember to slow down today Hey daddy, oh Make that type, O huh Atta boy
Was in that position a week ago trying to dig a body control module out of a friends cayenne, it was stuffed vertically above the gas pedal and had about 5 plugin connectors on short leashes.
-- Edited by DonSSDD on Tuesday 19th of December 2023 12:00:01 PM
Sad..We live in a world where we think...no body moves nobody gets hurt..so no body moves because they may get hurt..so nothing gets done.. If you don't speak ..no one will be offended . So we don't speak. regulated to death........ Just my rant....
Sorry folks. I had to delete the "Joke of the day " thread. Our ad host sent me a violation report saying something in that thread violated the "terms of the agreement". The A.I never tells you exactly what the issue is so I had to delete the whole thread. Feel free to start a new one.
It reminds me of that BBC skit from years ago where "The computer says no".
Thanks
Todd
More bathroom humor
Easily one of the top 10 best Far Side cartoons ever.
Her - why are you double bagging all of your groceries?
Me - excuse me?
Her - you are wasting our bags!
Me - if you don't like the way I'm bagging the groceries, feel free to come on over here and bag them yourself.
Her - that's not my job!
Me - okay, then I will bag my groceries how I please if that's all right with you.
Her - why are you using two bags?!
Me - because the bags are weak and I don't want the handles to break or the bottoms to rip out.
Her - well that's because you are putting too much stuff in the bag. If you took half of that stuff out and put it in a different bag then you wouldn't need to double bag.
*10 seconds of me just staring at her.
Me - so you want me to split these items in half and put half of them in a different bag so that I don't have to double bag.
Her - exactly.
Me - so I would still be using two bags to hold the same number of items.
Her - no because you wouldn't be double bagging.
*me pressing two fingers to my left eye in an attempt to make it stop twitching.
Me - okay so here I have a jug of milk and a bottle of juice double bagged. If I take the milk out and remove the double bagging and just put the milk in the single bag and the juice in that single bag I'm still using two bags for these two items.
Her- no because you are not double bagging them so it's not the same number of bags.
*me looking around at about 10 other customers who at this point are enjoying the show.
Me- is this like that Common Core math stuff I keep hearing about?
Her- never mind you just don't get it.
And with that, she went back to her little Podium so she could continue texting or playing games on her phone or whatever it was she was doing before she decided to come over and critique my bagging skills.
Lefty... in this day and age. If you were her supervisor, you could expect to hear from Human resources in the morning!! LOL
This is SO totally me!
Carl, that really hit a nerve
About 15 years ago, I replaced a water damaged top on the coffee table.
3 weeks ago, I needed a piece of wood for a new window ledge.
And, with the old table top and my table saw,
I save enough mone to buy a liter of 10W30
I remember this song vividly from the 50s......
Transfusion by Nervous Norvus
Hey man, dig, that was that a red stop sign
I'm just a solid mess of contusions
Never, never, never gonna speed again
Slip the blood to me, Bud
I gotta make a date with that chick of mine
I cross the centre line man you gotta make time
Oh man, I got the cotton picking convolutions
Never, never, never gonna speed again
Shoot the juice to me, Bruce
But I'm a fast ridding daddy with a real cool head
I'ma gonna pass a truck on the hill ahead
My red corp-suckles are in mass confusion
Never, never, never gonna speed again
Pass the crimson to me, Jimson
I can fly right over everything, everything in sight
There's a slow poking cat I'm gonna pass him on the right
I'm a real gone paleface and that's no illusion
I'ma never, never, never gonna speed again
Pass the claret to me, Barrett
Oh, when you see me coming better start to pray
I'ma cutting up the road and I'm the boss all the way
Oh doc, pardon me for this crazy intrusion
I'm never, never, never gonna speed again
Pump the fluid in me, Louie
I'm a-passing everybody, oh, nothing but corn
Man, outta my way, I don't drive with my horn
Oh, nurse I'm gonna make a new resolution
I'm never, never, never gonna speed again
Put a gallon in me, Alan
Line crowding hogs and speeding jackasses
So remember to slow down today
Hey daddy, oh
Make that type, O huh
Atta boy
This is an expensive looking joke of the day-
Was in that position a week ago trying to dig a body control module out of a friends cayenne, it was stuffed vertically above the gas pedal and had about 5 plugin connectors on short leashes.
-- Edited by DonSSDD on Tuesday 19th of December 2023 12:00:01 PM
Washroom Hu
mour
Haha
It's the office Potluck tomorrow.
My wife made one of her signature dishes for me to take.
She was worried about an ingredient warning label.
So, I made one !
Sad..We live in a world where we think...no body moves nobody gets hurt..so no body moves because they may get hurt..so nothing gets done.. If you don't speak ..no one will be offended . So we don't speak. regulated to death........ Just my rant....