WIFE: Honey, please don't forget to buy bread when you're coming home from work and lest I forget... Your girlfriend Elizabeth is also here and says hello to you.
HUSBAND: Who is Elizabeth?
WIFE : Nobody, I just wanted you to respond, so I can have confirmation that you saw my message.
HUSBAND: But Im with Elizabeth right now, I thought you saw us!
WIFE: What! Where are you?
Husband: Near the neighbourhood bakery.
WIFE: Wait, Im coming right now!
After 5 minutes, his wife sends a message:
WIFE:Im at the bakery, where are you?
HUSBAND: Im at work. Now that youre at the bakery, please buy the bread and go home!
A southern gentleman from Baton Rouge went to Las Vegas for a holiday. Sitting in a cocktail lounge and sipping on some bourbon, he beckoned the waitress and said quietly, "Miss, y'all sure are a luvly, luvly lady.
Can ah persuade y'all to give me a piece of ass?"
"Wow, that's the most direct proposition I've ever had!" gasped the girl.
Flattered, she looked around the room, smiled, and replied, "Sure, why not? You're an attractive guy, too, and it's pretty slow here right now, so why don't we just slip away up to your room?"
When they returned half an hour later, the man sat down at the same table. The waitress smiled at him and asked politely, "Will there be anything else?"
"Why, yes, " replied the southern gentleman.
"Ah sure 'preciate what y'all just did for me. It was real sweet and right neighbourly of y'all.
But where ah come from in Louisiana, we lahk our bourbon real cold, so ah still need a piece of ass for mah drink."
4SPEED427 said
March 31st
Honest, it isn't me. I don't own one of those.... Now if it was a 427 Pontiac...............
Too funny
-- Edited by DonSSDD on Tuesday 20th of February 2024 07:27:42 PM
Just found out our dog has signed on
Need this sign for the 63, and all my vehicles.
Wonder how long they took to find out this wasnt a viable solution? Haha
This system seems to work well.
A southern gentleman from Baton Rouge went to Las Vegas for a holiday. Sitting in a cocktail lounge and sipping on some bourbon, he beckoned the waitress and said quietly, "Miss, y'all sure are a luvly, luvly lady.
Can ah persuade y'all to give me a piece of ass?"
"Wow, that's the most direct proposition I've ever had!" gasped the girl.
Flattered, she looked around the room, smiled, and replied, "Sure, why not? You're an attractive guy, too, and it's pretty slow here right now, so why don't we just slip away up to your room?"
When they returned half an hour later, the man sat down at the same table. The waitress smiled at him and asked politely, "Will there be anything else?"
"Why, yes, " replied the southern gentleman.
"Ah sure 'preciate what y'all just did for me. It was real sweet and right neighbourly of y'all.
But where ah come from in Louisiana, we lahk our bourbon real cold, so ah still need a piece of ass for mah drink."
Honest, it isn't me. I don't own one of those.... Now if it was a 427 Pontiac...............
An oldie but goody, The Man-Song!
It's an Electric Ford Toilet.... Check the recall sheet...LOL
-- Edited by LT1Caddy on Friday 12th of April 2024 10:04:36 PM
I know Im not in this alone. Haha